Face sitting has a reputation problem it does not deserve. For every couple that loves it, there are just as many who tried it once on the bed, found it awkward or unsustainable, and quietly moved on. The position gets blamed. In most cases, the position is not the problem the location is.
The floor and bed versions of face sitting are engineering problems. The person on the bottom is flat and relatively fixed, with limited ability to adjust angle, pressure, or airflow. The person on top is managing their own balance while simultaneously trying to be present in the act. Neither person has what they actually need. Sessions end earlier than either partner wants, for reasons that have nothing to do with desire.
The sex swing changes both variables at the same time, and the result is a position that works in a way the floor version never quite manages. There is also a dedicated piece of furniture designed to solve exactly these problems: the queening chair. The sex swing accomplishes the same thing, with more flexibility, two distinct position variations, and no single-use furniture in the bedroom.
The Mechanics Problem with Bed Face Sitting
It helps to be specific about what goes wrong on the bed, because the problems are mechanical, not personal.
| [IMAGE: Illustration: bed/floor face sitting showing the constraint problem. Person on bottom is flat and pinned, person on top is on knees with limited balance and no hand freedom. Simple, clinical illustration showing the physical constraints. No explicit detail needed, focus on the geometry.] |
For the person on the bottom: the position is largely passive and fixed. Flat on their back, head at mattress level, they have limited ability to adjust angle or signal what is working. Airflow can be restricted with no easy way to correct it. Sessions often end because the body mechanics are not sustainable, not because either partner has lost interest.
For the person on top: balance is the constant issue. Kneeling on a mattress, supporting body weight, managing the angle, and trying to actually be present in the position at the same time is a lot to ask. Knees and hips take sustained load. Hands are occupied with stability rather than anything more useful. The position that is supposed to feel powerful is, in practice, a balance exercise.
These are engineering problems: two people, neither with what they need, making a position work through effort rather than design.
The Queening Chair Solves This. So Does a Sex Swing.
A queening chair is a piece of furniture built specifically around this problem. It is essentially a seat with a cutout, elevated enough that the person sitting is at a comfortable height above the person lying beneath. The person on top is properly supported. The person underneath has airflow and can move their head. The mechanics that make the bed version difficult are addressed directly.
The sex swing solves the same problem from a different direction. Instead of elevating the person on top, it suspends the person on the bottom. He is in the swing, face up, supported at the hips, legs, and back, able to tilt and adjust. She is standing, with full control, both hands free, no kneeling required. The height is set at installation and can be dialed in precisely.
The practical difference: a queening chair is purpose-built furniture for one specific act. A sex swing is a platform for dozens of positions, two of which are the face sitting variations covered here. For most couples, the sex swing is the more useful investment.
| “I can't imagine great oral sex without it. Beds are boring!”James Maddox, age 60, verified buyer |
What the Swing Actually Changes
He is in the swing, suspended, face up. He can tilt, shift weight, and adjust his position freely while she stands over him.
She is standing. Her knees are not involved. Both hands are free. Her height and angle relative to him are determined by the swing height, set at installation, rather than by however the mattress happens to sit. Small adjustments, stepping forward or back, shifting weight, are easy and natural from a standing position in a way they simply are not from a kneeling one.
The swing also introduces something the bed version cannot offer: two distinct variations of the position, with meaningfully different mechanics and dynamics. The direction she faces changes the experience entirely.
Position 1: Face Sitting
Setup
He is in the swing face up, hips in the seat, feet in the stirrups. She faces toward him, steps over, and lowers herself to the right height. He can reach up to her hips or thighs. She can use the swing's chains or handles to brace or pull.
Seat height for this position: lower than the default for standing penetrative sex. The swing seat should sit at roughly standing face height for her. For most couples that means lowering the seat by 12 to 18 inches from the standard setup height.
| [IMAGE: Position illustration: Face Sitting. He is suspended in the swing face up, she faces toward him and stands over. Show the facing-toward orientation clearly. Use the provided artwork for this position.] |
What Makes This Variation Work
She faces toward him and controls the depth and angle by shifting her weight forward or back. He can reach her, feel her, and they can both adjust in real time. The position has a back-and-forth quality that the bed version cannot replicate because neither person is pinned or kneeling.
For her: standing with both hands free means she can touch him, touch herself, run her hands across his chest, or grip his thighs. Every option is available. None of her attention is going toward staying upright, which is where most of it goes on the bed.
For him: the key is what the swing does for breathing and range of motion. On a flat surface the person underneath is largely fixed, working within whatever space they have. In the swing he can move his head freely, take a breath when he needs one, and shift his angle to reach wherever he wants. The session can go as long as both partners want it to, rather than ending when the position becomes unsustainable.
This is also the variation most directly analogous to queening: the traditional sense of the term implies the person on top in a position of control, which this variation delivers. She is standing, supported, hands free, with full control of the angle and pace.
Position 2: The Grinder
Setup
The setup is identical to Face Sitting with one change: she faces away from him. He is in the swing face up, she stands over him facing toward his feet. The swing seat height is the same as for Face Sitting.
The defining mechanic of this position is the reach: she can bend forward and reach down to grip his head or hair, pulling him into her. That grip is what gives the position its name and its distinct character. She controls the pressure and pace directly, with both hands, from a stable standing position.
| [IMAGE: Position illustration: The Grinder. He is suspended in the swing face up, she faces away from him, standing over. Show the facing-away orientation and optionally suggest the forward reach. Use the provided artwork for this position.] |
What Makes This Variation Work
The Grinder is a different dynamic from Face Sitting, not just a reversed angle. She cannot be pulled toward him as easily from this direction. What she can do is grip, control, and set the pace entirely on her terms.
The reach-down grip, his head or hair, is the key mechanic. On the floor this works, but increasing the pressure means sitting heavier, which means worrying about whether you are putting too much weight on him. That concern shapes the whole dynamic: she is managing the balance and the pressure at the same time, which limits how fully either person can be in the moment. Standing over the swing, she can pull him in firmly without sitting on him at all. The grip is the control mechanism, not her body weight. She can grind into him as hard as she wants and the only question is what feels good, not whether she is going to crush him.
For him: the swing means he can breathe. On a flat surface the position can become genuinely suffocating with limited ability to signal or adjust. In the swing he can shift, tilt, and come up for air without breaking the position. The session goes longer because the mechanics allow it.
For couples interested in power dynamics or dominance and submission play, The Grinder is the more explicit expression of that in the face sitting category. The mechanics of the position, her standing with full grip control, him suspended and following her lead, map directly onto that dynamic without any additional setup.
| “This has unleashed the inner porn star in my wife and I. I'm 55 and she is 64 and there isn't a young couple or pornstar that could keep up with us.”Greg S. Perry, age 55, verified buyer |
If You Tried It on the Bed and Did Not Love It
Before concluding the position is not for you, it is worth identifying which part did not work. The following are descriptions of the bed setup, not the position itself:
- It ended sooner than either partner wanted because of physical discomfort, not lack of interest
- Airflow or breathing felt restricted with no easy adjustment available
- Sore knees, hips, or fatigue for the person on top
- The angle felt off but could not easily be corrected
- The person on the bottom could not communicate or adjust in real time
Every one of those is a description of floor mechanics. The swing addresses all of them: he is supported and can move freely, she is standing with both hands available and no sustained load on her knees, and the height is set at installation rather than dictated by the mattress. The position that felt awkward or unsustainable on the bed is a different experience in the swing.
Setup Notes
Height
Set the seat lower than the default for standing penetrative sex. The right height for both face sitting variations puts the swing seat at roughly her face height when standing. That is usually 12 to 18 inches lower than a typical setup.
The Short Version
Face sitting on the bed is an engineering problem: the person on the bottom is fixed and has limited airflow, the person on top is kneeling and fighting for balance. The queening chair is purpose-built furniture that solves exactly that problem. The sex swing solves it differently, and in two directions.
Face Sitting (facing toward) is the more connected variation: she controls the angle and pace, he has the freedom to breathe, move, and reach, and both partners can stay in the position as long as they want. The Grinder (facing away) is the more control-focused variation: she reaches down and sets the pace with her hands, he follows in the swing, and the grip replaces body weight as the pressure mechanism. Both are positions that the bed version gestures toward but cannot fully deliver.
If the floor version was a disappointment, the mechanics were the issue. The position is worth another look.
| “We call it the sex assistant. We love it! Wish we would have started this sooner!”Joshua Sowerby, age 42, verified buyer |
For the full position library, including setup guides for every variation, visit the positions section at sexswing.com. Current swing recommendations are at here.
